$750 for my Hormones

I'm going to let you in on a little secret that involves an endogenous androgen sex steroid & hormone called DHT. Once you know it..

Don't worry, this is not a scam (I promise). 🙂

Are you eligible?

Let's find out with only 3 qualifying questions.

Q1 - Are you a man who is losing hair due to male pattern baldness and is extremely embarrassed about it?

Did you say yes? You made it past the first round.

Q2 - Are you overly obsessed with your hair loss and spend all your time watching before & after video reviews of people looking great and feeling happy on YouTube?

Was that a yes again? Excellent. Let's keep going.

Q3 - Are you considering paying for pills, supplements, shampoos, natural oils, laser combs, injections, hair loss treatments or hair transplant surgery?

Yes? Congratulations.

happy face of saitama from one punch man, my favorite baldie

How to get your $750

Here’s the simple 3 step process.

Step 1 - Buy these books [0] for ~$50

I have to pay?

Just a small investment for a big profit. You keep burning money on crypto. These are books, books are for life.


Step 2 - Donate $100 to a local charity of your choice, or find one here [1].

More expenditure?? 😐

Look, the virus has wreaked havoc across the globe. Be a good man and donate something. You will get you your $750, trust me.


Step 3 - Buy a nice pair of hair clippers [2] for ~$100.

Are you kidding? F*** you man! 😠

Come on, there are some really good recommendations for high quality clippers in there, just take a look.

ok, what now?

Thats it. Congratulations on your $750.

Huh? Where’s the money?

It's already with you, in your wallet.

angry bald man, from pakistani cricket fan meme

Hold on. Let me show you.

Hormones + Insecurity = $4 Billion USD

The hair loss products and treatments you are considering blowing your cash on, those companies, cosmetologists & online experts, all they ever do, is prey on your insecurities and lack of self-esteem. They rely on your attachment to your hair and your ability to keep spending money.

Remember Mark Hanna talking to Jordan Belfort in the 'The Wolf of Wall Street' about the 'Ferris Wheel' and how the park is open twenty-four-seven, three-six-five, every-decade, every-goddamn-century? The male hair loss industry is exactly like that.

wolf of wall street, matthew mcconaughey and leonardo dicaprio

Here’s a piece of truth that can change your life but you will not be willing to accept it - nothing can bring your lost hair back - NOTHING! Take a moment to stop reading and let that sink in.

This is what you've been denying and running away from. Like most things, genetic hair loss also follows the second law of thermodynamics and the arrow of time - it is irreversible. It simply is the way it is.

Besides, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Baldness is awesome!

Now, let me show you some interesting back-of-the-envelope calculations based on some data [3] I managed to gather.

hair loss industry approximate valuation and user expenditure calculations

One thousand dollars!

I just made you spend $250 and taught you to accept the truth, guess how much you saved?

That right - $750! 😋

Invest in books, they will help you lead a better life, form good habits, make new friends, relieve stress and calm your mind so you feel better about yourself. Donate to a charity so you feel humble and are reminded that all things on this planet, good or bad are connected, and we can all help each other. And lastly, on to those clippers. Smile as you watch yourself shave your head in the mirror. Feel like you are being born again.

If we try to keep an open mind and start accepting who we are, we can bring down an entire industry that thrives on false hopes and baseless insecurities of otherwise healthy, beautiful and sexy bald men like us.

rise of planet of the apes movie reference

I wrote this essay with ONE intention - to be able to make you see your hair loss from a new perspective. And I sincerely hope you got the idea.

Did you? Cause if you did, then go spread the word, tell other men what you just learnt. Be a bro, help your buddy change their life and save $750 too.

PS - Even Bill Gates is unhappy [4] that we collectively spend more on baldness than on malaria research.

PPS - Why not hit the gym, buy a pair of dumbbells or do some bodyweight exercises [5]? Work on your physique. Because you know what's more awesome that being a bald dude? Being a buff bald dude!